安妮日记- 第48部分

we　now　leave　the　attic　window　open　a　crack　every　night。　peter　and　i　often　sit　up　there　in　the　evening。

thanks　to　rubber　cement　and　oil　paint；　our　toilet　；　could　quickly　be　repaired。　the　broken　faucet　has　been　replaced。

luckily；　mr。　kleiman　is　feeling　better。　hes　going　to　see　a　specialist　soon。　we　can　only　hope　he　wont　need　an　operation。

this　month　we　received　eight　tation　books。　unfortunately；　for　the　next　two　weeks　beans　have　been　substituted　for　oatmeal　or　groats。　our　latest　delicacy　is　piccalilli。　if　youre　out　of　luck；　all　you　get　is　a　jar　full　of　cucumber　and　mustard　sauce。

vegetables　are　hard　to　e　by。　theres　only　lettuce；　lettuce　and　more　lettuce。　our　meals　consist　entirely　of　potatoes　and　imitation　gravy。

the　russians　are　in　possession　of　more　than　half　the　crimea。　the　british　arent　advancing　beyond　cassino。　well　have　to　count　on　the　western　wall。　there　have　been　a　lot　of　unbelievably　heavy　air　raids。　the　registry　of　births；　deaths　and　marriages　in　the　hague　was　bombed。　all　dutch　people　will　be　issued　new　ration　registration　cards。

enough　for　today。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

sunday；　april　16；　1944

my　dearest　kitty；

remember　yesterdays　date；　since　it　was　a　red…letter　day　for　me。　isnt　it　an　important　day　for　every　girl　when　she　gets　her　first　kiss？　well　then；　its　no　less　important　to　me。　the　time　bram　kissed　me　on　my　right　cheek　or　mr。　woudstra　on　my　right　hand　doesnt　count。　how　did　i　suddenly　e　by　this　kiss？　ill　tell　you。

last　night　at　eight　i　was　sitting　with　peter　on　his　divan　and　it　wasnt　long　before　he　put　an　arm　around　me。　（since　it　was　saturday；　he　wasnt　wearing　his　overalls。）〃why　don　t　we　move　over　a　little；〃　i　said；　〃so　won　t　keep　bumping　my　head　against　the　cupboard。”

he　moved　so　far　over　he　was　practically　in　the　corner。　i　slipped　my　arm　under　his　and　across　his　back；　and　he　put　his　arm　around　my　shoulder；　so　that　i　was　nearly　engulfed　by　him。　weve　sat　like　this　on　other　occasions；　but　never　so　close　as　we　were　last　night。　he　held　me　firmly　against　him；　my　left　side　against　his　chest；　my　heart　had　already　begun　to　beat　faster；　but　there　was　more　to　e。　he　wasnt　satisfied　until　my　head　lay　on　his　shoulder；　with　his　on　top　of　mine。　i　sat　up　again　after　about　five　minutes；　but　before　long　he　took　my　head　in　his　hands　and　put　it　back　next　to　his。　oh；　it　was　so　wonderful。　i　could　hardly　talk；　my　pleasure　was　too　intense；

he　caressed　my　cheek　and　arm；　a　bit　clumsily；　and　played　with　my　hair。　most　of　the　time　our　heads　were　touching。

i　cant　tell　you；　kitty；　the　feeling　that　ran　through　me。　i　was　too　happy　for　words；　and　i　think　he　was　too。

at　nine…thirty　we　stood　up。　peter　put　on　his　tennis　shoes　so　he　wouldnt　make　much　noise　on　his　nightly　round　of　the　building；　and　i　was　standing　next　to　him。　how　i　suddenly　made　the　right　movement；　i　dont　know；　but　before　we　went　downstairs；　he　gave　me　a。　kiss；　through　my　hair；　half　on　my　left　cheek　and　half　on　my　ear。　i　tore　downstairs　without　looking　back；　and　i　long　so　much　for　today。

sunday　morning；　just　before　eleven。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

monday；　april　17；　1944

dearest　kitty；

do　you　think　father　and　mother　would　approve　of　a　girl　my　age　sitting　on　a　divan　and　kissing　a　seventeen…and…　a…half…year…old　boy？　i　doubt　they　would；　but　i　have　to　trust　my　own　judgment　in　this　matter。　its　so　peaceful　and　safe；　lying　in　his　arms　and　dreaming；　its　so　thrilling　to　feel　his　cheek　against　mine；　its　so　wonderful　to　know　theres　someone　waiting　for　me。　but；　and　there　is　a　but；　will　peter　want　to　leave　it　at　that？　i　havent　forgotten　his　promise；　but。　。　。　he　is　a　boy！

i　know　im　starting　at　a　very　young　age。　not　even　fifteen　and　already　so　independent　……　thats　a　little　hard　for　other　people　to　understand。　im　pretty　sure　margot　would　never　kiss　a　boy　unless　there　was　some　talk　of　an　engagement　or　marriage。　neither　peter　nor　i　has　any　such　plans。　im　also　sure　that　mother　never　touched　a　man　before　she　met　father。　what　would　my　girlfriends　or　jacque　say　if　they　knew　id　lain　in　peters　arms　with　my　heart　against　his　chest；　my　head　on　his　shoulder　and　his　head　and　face　against　mine！

oh；　anne；　how　terribly　shocking！　but　seriously；　i　dont　think　its　at　all　shocking；　were　cooped　up　here；　cut　off　from　the　world；　anxious　and　fearful；　especially　lately。　why　should　we　stay　apart　when　we　love　each　other？　why　shouldnt　we　kiss　each　other　in　times　like　these？　why　should　we　wait　until　weve　reached　a　suitable　age？　why　should　we　ask　anybodys　permission？

ive　decided　to　look　out　for　my　own　interests。　hed　never　want　to　hurt　me　or　make　me　unhappy。　why　shouldnt　i　do　what　my　heart　tells　me　and　makes　both　of　us　happy？

yet　i　have　a　feeling；　kitty；　that　you　can　sense　my　doubt。　it　must　be　my　honesty　rising　in　revolt　against　all　this　sneaking　around。　do　you　think　its　my　duty　to　tell　father　what　im　up　to？　do　you　think　our　secret　should　be　shared　with　a　third　person？

much　of　the　beauty　would　be　lost；　but　would　it　make　me　feel　better　inside？　ill　bring　it　up　with　him。

oh；　yes；　i　still　have　so　much　i　want　to　discuss　with　him；　since　i　dont　see　the　point　of　just　cuddling。　sharing　our　thoughts　with　each　other　requires　a　great　deal　of　trust；　but　well　both　be　stronger　because　of　it！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

p。s。　we　were　up　at　six　yesterday　morning；　because　the　whole　family　heard　the　sounds　of　a　break…in　again。　it　must　have　been　one　of　our　neighbors　who　was　the　victim　this

time。　when　we　checked　at　seven　oclock；　our　doors　were　still　shut　tight；　thank　goodness！

tuesday；　april　18；1944

dearest　kitty；

everythings　fine　here。　last　night　the　carpenter　came　again　to　put　some　sheets　of　iron　over　the　door　panels。　father　just　got　through　saying　he　definitely　expects　large…scale　operations　in　russia　and　italy；　as　well　as　in　the　west；　before　may　20；　the　longer　the　war　lasts；　the　harder　it　is　to　imagine　being　liberated　from　this　place。

yesterday　peter　and　i　finally　got　around　to　having　the　talk　weve　been　postponing　for　the　last　ten　days。　i　told　him　all　about　girls；　without　hesitating　to　discuss　the　most　intimate　matters。　i　found　it　rather　amusing　that　he　thought　the　opening　in　a　womans　body　was　simply　left　out　of　illustrations。　he　couldnt　imagine　that　it　was　actually　located　between　a　womans　legs。　the　evening　ended　with　a　mutual　kiss；　near　the　mouth。　its　really　a　lovely　feeling！

i　might　take　my　〃favorite　quotes　notebook〃　up　with　me　sometime　so　peter　and　i　can　go　more　deeply　into　matters。　i　dont　think　lying　in　each　others　arms　day　in　and　day　out　is　very　satisfying；　and　i　hope　he　feels　the　same。

after　our　mild　winter　weve　been　having　a　beautiful　spring。　april　is　glorious；　not　too　hot　and　not　too　cold；　with　occasional　light　showers。　our　chestnut　tree　is　in　leaf；　and　here　and　there　you　can　already　see　a　few　small　blossoms。

bep　presented　us　saturday　with　four　bouquets　of　flowers：　three　bouquets　of　daffodils；　and　one　bouquet　of　grape　hyacinths　for　me。　mr。　kugler　is　supplying　us　with　more　and　more　newspapers。

its　time　to　do　my　algebra；　kitty。　bye。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

wednesday；　april　19；　1944

dearest　darling；　（thats　the　title　of　a　movie　with　dorit　kreysler；　ida　wust　and　harald　paulsen！）

what　could　be　nicer　than　sitting　before　an　open　window；　enjoying　nature；　listening　to　the　birds　sing；　feeling　the　sun　on　your　cheeks　and　holding　a　darling　boy　in　your　arms？

i　feel　so　peaceful　and　safe　with　his　arm　around　me；　knowing　hes　near　and　yet　not　having　to　speak；　how　can　this　be　bad　when　it　does　me　so　much　good？　oh；　if　only　we　were　never　disturbed　again；　not　even　by　mouschi。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　april　21；1944

my　dearest　kitty；

i　stayed　in　bed　yesterday　with　a　sore　throat；　but　since　i　was　already　bored　the　very　first　afternoon　and　didnt　have　a　fever；　i　got　up　today。　my　sore　throat　has　nearly　〃verschwunden〃　＇　disappeared＇。

yesterday；　as　youve　probably　already　discovered；　was　our　fiihrers　fifty…fifth　birthday。　today　is　the　eighteenth　birthday　of　her　royal　highness　princess　elizabeth　of　york。　the　bbc　reported　that　she　hasnt　yet　been　declared　of　age；　though　royal　children　usually　are。　weve　been　wondering　which　prince　theyll　marry　this　beauty　off　to；　but　cant　think　of　a　suitable　candidate；　perhaps　her　sister；　princess　margaret　rose；　can　have　crown　prince　baudouin　of　belgium！

here　weve　been　going　from　one　disaster　to　the　next。　no　sooner　have　the　outside　doors　been　reinforced　than　van　maaren　rears　his　head　again。　in　all　likelihood　hes　the　one　who　stole　the　potato　flour；　and　now　hes　trying　to　pin　the　blame　on　bep。　not　surprisingly；　the　annex　is　once　again　in　an　uproar。　bep　is　beside　herself　with　rage。

perhaps　mr。　kugler　will　finally　have　this　shady　character　tailed。

the　appraiser　from　beethovenstraat　was　here　this　morning。　he　offered　us　400　guilders　for　our　chest；　in　our　opinion；　the　other　estimates　are　also　too　low。

i　want　to　ask　the　magazine　the　prince　if　theyll　take　one　of　my　fairy　tales；　under　a　pseudonym；　of　course。　but　up　to　now　all　my　fairy　tales　have　been　too　long；　so　i　dont　think　i　have　much　of　a　chance。

until　the　next　time；　darling。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

tuesday；　april　25；　1944

dearest　kitty；

for　the　last　ten　days　dussel　hasnt　been　on　speaking　terms　with　mr。　van　daan；　and　all　because　of　the　new