安妮日记- 第23部分

dearest　kitty；

north　amsterdam　was　very　heavily　bombed　on　sunday。　there　was　apparently　a　great　deal　of　destruction。　entire　streets　are　in　ruins；　and　it　will　take　a　while　for　them　to　dig　out　all　the　bodies。　so　far　there　have　been　two　hundred　dead　and　countless　wounded；

the　hospitals　are　bursting　at　the　seams。　weve　been　told　of　children　searching　forlornly　in　the　smoldering　ruins　for　their　dead　parents。　it　still　makes　me　shiver　to　think　of　the　dull；　distant　drone　that　signified　the　approaching　destruction。

friday；　july　23；　1943

bep　is　currently　able　to　get　hold　of　notebooks；　especially　journals　and　ledgers；　useful　for　my　bookkeeping　sister！　other　kinds　are　for　sale　as　well；　but　dont　ask　what　theyre　like　or　how　long　theyll　last。　at　the　moment　　theyre　all　labeled　〃no　coupons

needed！〃　like　everything　else　you　can　purchase　without　ration　stamps；　theyre　i　totally　worthless。　they　consist　of　twelve　sheets　of　gray　i　paper　with　narrow　lines　that　slant　across　the　page。　margot　is　thinking　about　taking　a　course　in　calligraphy；　ive　advised　her　to　go　ahead　and　do　it。　mother　wont　let　me　because　of　my　eyes；　but　i　think　thats　silly。　whether　i　do　i　that　or　something　else；　it　all　es　down　to　the　same　i　thing。

since　youve　never　been　through　a　war；　kitty；　and　since　you　know　very　little　about　life　in　hiding；　in　spite　of　my　letters；　let　me　tell　you；　just　for　fun；　what　we　each　want　to　do　first　when　were　able　to　go　outside　again。

margot　and　mr。　van　daan　wish；　above　all　else；　to　have　a　hot　bath；　filled　to　the　brim；　which　they　can　lie　in　for　more　than　half　an　hour。　mrs。　van　daan　would　like　a　cake；　dussel　can　think　of　nothing　but　seeing　his　charlotte；　and　mother　is　dying　for　a　cup　of　real　coffee。　father　would　like　to　visit　mr。　voskuijl；　peter　would　go　downtown；　and　as　for　me；　id　be　so　overjoyed　i　wouldnt　know　where　to　begin。

most　of　all　i　long　to　have　a　home　of　our　own；　to　be　able　to　move　around　freely　and　have　someone　help　me　with　my　homework　again；　at　last。　in　other　words；　to　go　back　to　school！

bep　has　offered　to　get　us　some　fruit；　at　so…called　bargain　prices：　grapes　2。50　guilders　a　pound；　gooseberries　70　cents　a　pound；　one　peach　50　cents；　melons　75　cents　a　pound。　no　wonder　the　papers　write　every　evening　in　big；　fat　letters：　〃keep　prices　down！”

monday；　july　26；　1943

dear　kitty；

yesterday　was　a　very　tumultuous　day；　and　were　still　all　wound　up。　actually；　you　may　wonder　if　theres　ever　a　day　that　passes　without　some　kind　of　excitement。

the　first　warning　siren　went　off　in　the　morning　while　we　were　at　breakfast；　but　we　paid　no　attention；　because　it　only　meant　that　the　planes　were　crossing　the　coast。　i　had　a　terrible　headache；　so　i　lay　down　for　an　hour　after　breakfast　and　then　went　to　the　office　at　around　two。

at　two…thirty　margot　had　finished　her　office　work　and　was　just　gathering　her　things　together　when　the　sirens　began　wailing　again。　so　she　and　i　trooped　back　upstairs。

none　too　soon；　it　seems；　for　less　than　five　minutes　later　the　guns　were　booming　so　loudly　that　we　went　and　stood　in　the　hall。　the　house　shook　and　the　bombs　kept

falling。　i　was　clutching　my　〃escape　bag；〃　more　because　i　wanted　to　have　something　to　hold　on　to　than　because　i　wanted　to　run　away。　i　know　we　cant　leave　here；　but　if　we　had　to；　being　seen　on　the　streets　would　be　just　as　dangerous　as　getting　caught　in　an　air　raid。　after　half　an　hour　the　drone　of　engines　faded　and　the　house　began　to　hum　with　activity　again。　peter　emerged　from　his　lookout　post　in　the　front　attic；　dussel　remained　in　the　front　office；　mrs。　van　d。　felt　safest　in　the　private　office；　mr。　van　daan　had　been　watching　from　the　loft；　and　those　of　us　on　the　landing　spread　out　to　watch　the　columns　of　smoke　rising　from　the　harbor。　before　long　the　smell　of　fire　was　everywhere；　and　outside　it　looked　as　if　the　city　were　enveloped　in　a　thick　fog。

a　big　fire　like　that　is　not　a　pleasant　sight；　but　fortunately　for　us　it　was　all　over；　and　we　went　back　to　our　various　chores。　just　as　we　were　starting　dinner：　another　air…raid　alarm。　the　food　was　good；　but　i　lost　my　appetite　the　moment　i　heard　the　siren。

nothing　happened；　however；　and　forty…five　minutes　later　the　all　clear　was　sounded。

after　the　dishes　had　been　washed：　another　air…raid　warning；　gunfire　and　swarms　of　planes。　〃oh；　gosh；　twice　in　one　day；〃　we　thought；　〃thats　twice　in　one　day；〃　we　thought；　〃thats　twice　too　many。〃　little　good　that　did　us；　because　once　agai　the　bombs　rained　down；　this　time　on　the　others　of　the　city。　according　to　british　reports；　schiphol　airport　was　bombed。　the　planes　dived　and　climbed；　the　air　was　abuzz　with　the　drone　of　engines。　it　was　very　scary；　and　the　whole　time　i　kept　thinking；　〃here　it　es；　this　is　it。”

i　can　assure　you　that　when　i　went　to　bed　at　nine；　my　legs　were　still　shaking。　at　the　stroke　of　midnight　i　woke　up　again：　more　planes！　dussel　was　undressing；　but　i　took　no　notice　and　leapt　up；　wide　awake；　at　the　sound　of　the　first　shot。　i　stayed　in　fathers　bed　until　one；　in　my　own　bed　until　one…thirty；　and　was　back　in　fathers　bed　at　two。

but　the　planes　kept　on　ing。　at　last　they　stopped　firing　and　i　was　able　to　go　back　〃home〃　again。　i　finally　fell　asleep　at　half　past　two。

seven　oclock。　i　awoke　with　a　start　and　sat　up　in　bed。　mr。　van　daan　was　with　father。

my　first　thought　was：　burglars。　〃everything；〃　i　heard　mr。　van　daan　say；　and　i　thought　everything　had　been　stolen。　but　no；　this　time　it　was　wonderful　news；　the　best　weve　had　in　months；　maybe　even　since　the　war　began。　mussolini　has　resigned　and　the　king　of　italy　has　taken　over　the　government。

we　jumped　for　joy。　after　the　awful　events　of　yesterday；　finally　something　good　happens　and　brings　us。　。　。　hope！　hope　for　an　end　to　the　war；　hope　for　peace。

mr。　kugler　dropped　by　and　told　us　that　the　fokker　aircraft　factory　had　been　hit　hard。

meanwhile；　there　was　another　air…raid　alarm　this　morning；　with　planes　flying　over；　and　another　warning　siren。　ive　had　it　up　to　here　with　alarms。　ive　hardly　slept；　and　the

last　thing　i　want　to　do　is　work。　but　now　the　suspense　about　italy　and　the　hope　that　the　war　will　be　over　by　the　end　of　the　year　are　keeping　us　awake。　。

yours；　anne　

thursday；　july　29；　1943

dearest　kitty；

mrs。　van　daan；　dussel　and　i　were　doing　the　dishes；　and　i　was　extremely　quiet。　this　is　very　unusual　for　me　and　they　were　sure　to　notice；　so　in　order　to　avoid　any　questions；　i　quickly　racked　my　brains　for　a　neutral　topic。　i　thought　the　book　henry　from　across　the　street　might　fit　the　bill；　but　i　couldnt　have　been　more　wrong；　if　mrs。

van　daan　doesnt　jump　down　my　throat；　mr。　dussel　does。　it　all　boiled　down　to　this：

mr。　dussel　had　remended　the　book　to　margot　and　me　as　an　example　of　excellent　writing。　we　thought　it　was　anything　but　that。　the　little　boy　had　been　portrayed　well；　but　as　for　the　rest。　。　。　the　less　said　the　better。　i　mentioned　something　to　that　effect　while　we　were　doing　the　dishes；　and　dussel　launched　into　a　veritable　tirade。

〃how　can　you　possibly　understand　the　psychology　of　a　man？　that　of　a　child　isnt　so　difficult　＇！＇。　but　youre　far　too　young　to　read　a　book　like　that。　even　a　twenty…year…old　man　would　be　unable　to　prehend　it。〃　（so　why　did　he　go　out　of　his　way　to　remend　it　to　margot　and　me？）

mrs。　van　d。　and　dussel　continued　their　harangue：　〃you　know　way　too　much　about　things　youre　not　supposed　to。　youve　been　brought　up　all　wrong。　later　on；　when　youre　older；　you　wont　be　able　to　enjoy　anything　anymore。　youll　say；　oh；　i　read　that　twenty　years　ago　in　some　book。　youd　better　hurry　if　you　want　to　catch　a　husband　or　fall　in　love；　since　everything　is　bound　to　be　a　disappointment　to　you。　you　already　know　all　there　is　to　know　in　theory。　but　in　practice？　thats　another　story！”

can　you　imagine　how　i　felt？　i　astonished　myself　by　calmly　replying；　〃you　may　think　i　havent　been　raised　properly；　but　many　people　would　disagree！”

they　apparently　believe　that　good　child…rearing　includes　trying　to　pit　me　against　my　parents；　since　thats　all　they　ever　do。　and　not　telling　a　girl　my　age　about　grown…up　subjects　is　fine。　we　can　all　see　what　happens　when。　people　are　raised　that　way。

at　that　moment　i　could　have　slapped　them　both　for　poking　fun　at　me。　i　was　beside　myself　with　rage；　and　if　i　only　knew　how　much　longer　we　had　to　put　up　with　each　others　pany；　id　start　counting　the　days。

mrs。　van　daans　a　fine　one　to　talk！　she　sets　an　example　all　right　……　a　bad　one！

shes　known　to　be　exceedingly　pushy；　egotistical；　cunning；　calculating　and　perpetually　dissatisfied。　add　to　that；　vanity　and　coquettishness　and　theres　no　question　about　it：

shes　a　thoroughly　despicable　person。　i　could　write　an　entire　book　about　madame　van　daan；　and　who　knows；　maybe　someday　i　will。　anyone　can　put　on　a　charming　exterior　when　they　want　to。　mrs。　van　d。　is　friendly　to　strangers；　especially　men；　so　its　easy　to　make　a　mistake　when　you　first　get　to　know　her。

mother　thinks　that　mrs。　van　d。　is　too　stupid　for　words；　margot　that　shes　too　unimportant；　pim　that　shes　too　ugly　（literally　and　figuratively！）；　and　after　long　observation　（im　never　prejudiced　at　the　beginning）；　ive　e　to　the　conclusion　that　shes　all　three　of　the　above；　and　lots　more　besides。　she　has　so　many　bad　traits；　why　should　i　single　out　just　one　of　them？

yours；　anne　

p。s。　will　the　reader　please　take　into