the rest of the waves on the other。
hence it creates an organization； it creates a chain。
the father says； 〃i will disappear； but it doesnt matter …… i will leave my son behind。
〃 the wave says； 〃ill disappear； but ill leave a little wave …… it will survive after me； the chain will continue； my name shall remain。
〃 thats why a father feels unhappy if he doesnt have a son …… it means he couldnt arrange his immortality。
he will of course be gone； but he wants to create another wave which will continue further on； which will at least identify the wave it came from。
so its all right for the former wave to disappear …… it leaves another one behind。
you may or may not have noticed that people who are engaged in a creative activity …… a painter； a musician； a poet； a writer …… are not too concerned with having sons； simply because they have found a substitute。
their paintings will survive； their poetry will survive； their sculptures will survive； they dont care about having a son。
thats why scientists； painters； sculptors； writers and poets are not overly concerned with having sons。
there is no other reason except that they have found a different kind of son。
they have created a wave which will remain long after they are gone。
actually； they have found a son that will last even longer than yours； because even when your son has disappeared； the writers book will still remain。
a writer doesnt care much about having a son； about having an offspring。
this does not mean； however； that he is carefree； it simply means he has found a long…lasting wave； he stops worrying about smaller waves。
hence he is not interested in having a family； he has created a different kind of family。
he is also striving for the same degree of immortality。
so he will say； 〃money will be lost； wealth will be lost； but my work； my scripture will survive〃 …… and that is precisely what he wants。
but scriptures also bee lost。
no scripture lasts forever； although of course it lasts a little longer。
who knows how many scriptures have already been lost； and how many get lost everyday。
everything will be lost。
in fact； in the world of waves； no matter to what extent a wave may prolong itself； ultimately it is bound to be lost。
to be a wave means to face extinction …… prolonging makes no difference。
so if you look upon yourself as a wave you will want to avoid death …… you will remain afraid； scared。
i say to you： look at death …… neither should you avoid it nor be afraid of it； nor run away from it。
look at it。
and just by looking at it you will find that what seemed like death from this end； as you enter into it a little； the same thing turns out to be life。
then the wave bees the ocean； its fear of extinction disappears。
then it doesnt want to bee frozen ice。
then； for whatever time it has； it dances in the sky； rejoices under the rays of the sun； is happy。
and when it falls back into the ocean； it is equally happy in its state of rest。
thus it is happy in life； it is happy in death …… because it knows that 〃that which is〃 is never born nor does it ever die。
that which is； is； only forms keep changing。
we are all waves risen above the ocean of consciousness。
some of us have turned into ice …… most of us have。
the ego is like ice； as hard as a rock。
how amazing it is that a fluid like water can bee hard like ice and rock。
if a desire to freeze arises in us； the consciousness； otherwise so simple and fluid； freezes and bees an ego。
we are all filled with desire to freeze； and so we employ many kinds of means to see how we can bee frozen； solidified。
there are laws under which water turns into ice； and there are also laws which cause the formation of the ego。
water has to cool in order to bee ice； it has to lose its heat； it has to turn cold。
the colder it gets； the harder it bees。
the man who wants to create ego has to bee cold as well； he has to lose his warmth。
thats why we say 〃a warm wele。
〃 a wele is always warm； a cold wele has no meaning。
love means warmth； a cold love carries no meaning。
love is never cold； it contains warmth。
actually； life is sustained by warmth； death is cold； below zero。
thats why the sun is the symbol of life； the sun is the symbol of warmth。
when it rises in the morning； death departs； everything bees warm and hot。
the flowers bloom and the birds begin to sing。
warmth is the symbol of life； cold is the symbol of death。
so one who wants to create an ego has to bee cold； and in order to bee cold he has to lose all those things which give warmth。
he has to lose everything that gives warmth to his being。
for example； love gives warmth； hatred brings coldness。
so for the sake of the ego； one has to give up love and cling to hatred。
mercy and sympathy bring warmth； cruelty and ruthlessness bring cold。
just as there are laws for the freezing of water； there are laws for the freezing of human consciousness。
the same law works： keep on being cold。
sometimes we say that such…and…such a person is very cold …… there is no warmth in him； he bees hard like a rock。
and remember； the warmer a person is the more simple he is。
then his life has a liquidity that enables him to flow into others and allows others to flow into him。
a cold person bees hard； unable to flow； closed from all sides。
no one can enter into him； nor can he enter into anyone。
the ego is like frozen ice and love is like water； fluid； flowing。
the man who is afraid of death will run away from it。
he will go on freezing； because that fear that he may die； that he may disappear； will make him contract …… and his ego will remain； growing harder； stronger。
i was a guest at a friends house for a few days。
he is quite rich； with a great deal of property。
but i was puzzled about one thing： he would never speak kindly to anyone； otherwise he was a good man。
i was very puzzled to see that inwardly he was very soft； but very hard on the outside。
the servant trembled before him； his son trembled before him； his wife was scared to face him。
people thought about it a good deal before they called on him。
even when they came to his door they hesitated to ring the bell； wondering whether they should go in or not。
when i stayed with him and came to know him closely； i asked him what all this was about。
i said； 〃as such； you are a very simple man。
〃 he said； 〃i am very scared。
it is dangerous to form a relationship； because if you form a relationship with somebody then sooner or later he starts asking for money。
if you remain courteous and loving to your wife； the expenditures shoot up。
if you dont remain stiff with your son； his pocket money goes on increasing。
if you talk to your servant gently； he also tries to behave like a boss。
〃
so a solid wall of coldness had to be erected all around …… that would scare the wife； that would scare the son。
how many fathers have done this？
the truth of the matter is that there is hardly any home where the father and the son meet each other lovingly。
the son goes to the father when he needs money； the father goes to the son when he wants to give him a sermon； otherwise the two dont meet； the meeting never happens。
there is no meeting point between a father and a son。
the father is afraid； and he has surrounded himself with a solid wall。
the son is also afraid； he sneaks by his father。
there is no harmony anywhere between the two。
the more a person is afraid； the more he worries about his security； the more solid he bees。
there is great danger in being fluid； there is insecurity in it。
this is the reason we are afraid of falling in love。
only after we have scrutinized the person and bee totally reassured do we ever fall in love。
that means； first we make sure there is no cause for danger from the person； then we fall in love。
thats why we invented marriages …… first we marry； first we take all the necessary measures； then we fall in love …… because love is dangerous。
love is fluid； a man might find his way into anyone。
it is dangerous to fall in love with a stranger； he may sneak off at night with all your valuables！ so first we make absolutely certain who the man is； what he does； where his parents are from； how his character is； what his qualities are。
we take all the measures； we take the full social precautions； only then do we accept the individual in marriage。
we are a frightened people； we want to make everything secure first。
the more we secure ourselves； the harder and colder the wall of ice is all around us； and it shrinks our entire being。
our separation from god has happened because of one reason alone： we are not liquid； we have bee solid。
this is the only cause of separation： we are not flowing； we have bee like blocks； we are not like water； we are like frozen ice。
once we bee fluid…like； the separation will no longer exist； but we will only bee fluid…like when we agree to see and to live death； when we accept that death exists。
once we have seen and recognized that death exists； why should there be any fear？ when death is surely there； when the wave knows f